Sometimes when I think back on my life, it plays like a movie in my head, not like my own life.
The places I've been, the people I've met, the things I've done - all chance events haphazardly occurring throughout my life, with no clear rhyme or reason.
It all goes by in the flash on an instant. I desperately try to slow it all down, and to some degree I've been able to. When I travel, I remember more of my life. I can't name 5 things I did in my last 6 months in the US, but I can recall how I've spent every weekend and most weekdays of my time here. My philosophy is: If I remember more of my life, then I've lived more of my life.
But sometimes I get so wrapped up in the now that I forget to savor the insignificant moments. I have to make a conscious effort to step back and let all my senses take over, to absorb everything around me: the good, the bad, the incredible, the uncomfortable, all of them. Even the worst situations eventually become the most vivid scenes in my mental movie.
One of my fondest memories of my time in Mali was the night i was incredibly ill. The heat was sweltering, the humidity thick, sweat was pouring off my face, I was hovering over a nyegen so weak I could hardly stand, while cockroaches crawled all over my feet... At the time, I was in hell. But I got through it and could even laugh about it the next morning and now, I can't believe how lucky I was just to be there. I remember every moment, every feeling from that night.
I try to remind myself of that here in Korea.
After work I've been hiking through the mountains of Yeongcheon, trying to release some pent up frustration. Instead of just blazing through the trails as fast as possible, which was my original goal, I've been veering off the path and exploring old tombs that overlook the city, reminding myself to just breathe it all in... Feel the sun, remember how the flowers smell, listen to the sounds of Korea.... it will all be over so fast.
... someday I'll miss all this.
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