Cha-Cha-Changes...

Something odd is going on here.

I keep noticing myself doing odd little things.

Like today for instance, at lunch I was eating my soup ( I've already been suckered back into eating Korean lunches) and I looked down and noticed my left hand was participating! Who invited her to the party?!?

I'm using my spoon with my right hand (as usual) but notice my left hand picking up hunks of (unidentified) meat with chopsticks and placing it on my spoon! Wow, when did I learn that trick? Hmmm... congratulations lefty, you are purely decorative no more!

And in the same meal I noticed another freaky phenomenon! I took one bite of my soup and thought it was too bland... so I scooped spoonful after spoonful of hot red pepper paste into my bowl!

WTF? Me and spicy? No way man. Never saw that one coming!

I've also developed a Korean attitude towards elevators. Normally, I would get in, push the floor button and wait for the door to close. Koreans and incredibly impatient. They get in, hit the floor button, and immediately and repeatedly hit the 'door close' button.

I've noticed that now when I get in the elevator I push the "12" button then start jamming my finger on those two little arrows that point towards each other, even though there is only a 2 second difference between pushing it and just waiting for the door to close.

And living out in the sticks has made me lose all my patients for traffic. I was in Daegu last week and was sitting in traffic in a cab for just a few min and wanted to pull my hair out!

How am I going to readjust to being back home??? I'm actually getting nervous about going home. That feels odd. I wasn't neverous to come here but I have serious butterflies about going back.

Hmmm... but it will be nice to drive a car again!

26, 27, 28...

Once again, the first week of July is upon us and my twenties are rapidly approaching their end.

Thus far, my twenties have been spent finding myself.

... and damn it, I've looked everywhere!!!  Where the hell am I already?!?

This year I find myself in Korea... next year.... anyone's guess.  Maybe I'll throw another dart at a globe, seems to be working so far!

Kill 'Em With Kindness... Or Candy, Which Ever Is Easier!

Today is my birthday!

I'm not a big birthday person. Never really have been. Generally my birthday comes and goes and I don't alert many people to the occasion.

Today in my 4th grade class a girl was brave enough to approach me before we started.

"Hello, how are you today Bituhne" she said.
"I'm very good, thanks. And you...?"
"I'm happy." she replied.
"Do you know what today is?" I said.

She looked at me with a blank stare and mouth wide open. I knew what she was thinking... "oh crap... we haven't rehearsed this. She's talking to me and I don't know what she's saying..."

"Do you know what today, Seven/ Seven, is?" I said again.
Still just staring at me, she looks even more confused now.

"It's my birthday." I said.
"Bituhne burrsday?!?" she squealed! Partly delighted that she understood me and partly because I would share that information with her. "OOOh, happy burrsday!"
She ran over and whispered to some of her friends. They all perked up and started pointing and whispering.

"Do you like cake?" The little girl said.
"Yes, I like cake"
"Do you like... uuuummm... gifts?" she said.
"Yes, I like cake and gifts."

Then it was time for class to start. Those little girls smiled at me all class like I had shared a special secret with them. It was very cute!

After class, those little girls came into my office, giggling nervously, during the break.

"Bittuuhne.... Happy Burrsday!" and they pulled out a little cake (a gift!) that was made out of clay. It's decorated with clay carrots and kiwi (I think). It actually made my day (thus far anyway!)

Then at lunch (which this week I officially stopped eating in the cafeteria!!) there was a package on my desk! From my grandma, aunts, cousins, parents... Filled with all kinds of fattening treats and goodies! So much for eating right!

There was no way I could eat all those goodies on my own and still fit into my pants, so I decided to take them to my after school class.   

I loathe my after school class! I teach it on my own and the students run a muck. They own me. It's out of control, they run out of the class, crawl around on the floor. I refuse to beat them or even yell at them and they know this so there is a total disregard for everything I try to do. I dread going to that class... and to make it better, it used to be once a week, now it's twice! Yippie!

They really don't deserve the candy, but I needed to share it with someone. I always offer stuff to my co-teachers and they take it but sometimes they eat it and sometimes they don't. Which makes me giggle because now you know how I feel having gooey rice and bean cakes shoved in my face all the time.

Some of those little girls in my 4th grade class are in my after school class so when I walked in today the whole class of 9 year old monsters broke into the English rendition of "Happy Birthday To You!" Apparently it's one of the only songs they know in English! I was actually touched. One little girl scribbled something in Korean on the board. I had no idea what it said, but judging from the topic of conversation, I pointed to it and said, "Happy Birthday".

All the kids mouths dropped open and they all started squealing.   

I guessed right! From my limited Korean vocabulary I could understand them saying "oooh, she reads Korean!" They are always amazed and delighted when I say things in Korean.

The kids were up to their normal antics: fighting, cell phone video games, hiding under desks, umbrella jousting, etc. Then I pulled out the chocolate cadbury eggs and the box of Mike and Ike's.

"Do you want candy?" I said pointing to the boxes.
"Yyyyyyeessssss! Give me candy!!!!" they started screaming.
I wrote the time class was over on the board and explained, in more hand gestures than words, that if you listen to me, you get candy when class is over. If not.... NO CANDY! They shut right up! This class exhausts me and it's the last week of after school classes this semester, so I've given up and resorted to only playing hangman. I've started writing phrases on a piece of paper and let them run the game (so at least I feel like one or two students will be doing something constuctive.)

They were as good as gold today! No one spoke out of turn, no one ran away, there was no blood on the floor... nothing! I'm not one for bribes, but next semester.... I'm bribing these monsters with candy every week!!!

And the day just kept getting better!  I went to dinner with Marica (a fellow North Carolinian, Charlotte actually) and we stuffed ourselves full of bulgogi and galbi (sliced beef and marinated pork) 

After dinner we were just sitting there, on the floor, talking and a man came up to us and picked our bill up off the table.  "This .... I will pay" he said.   Marica and I were confused.   "Why?" we asked.  "Because I'm Korean" he said.  

Fair enough!

I don't think he realized we had ordered at least 4 servings of meat!  Oh well!    Then when I made it home,  the little old man security guard stopped me at the elevator.   He came running out of his little security closet and muttered something at me and handed me a box.

Inside the box was a cake and a note that said, "Happy Birthday Britne!  Always Thank You, Min-Jung, Dong-Uk, Young-Jin"   awwww.  My co-teachers came by with a cake when I wasn't here!  

I threw myself a little birthday party and had some cake!  

It was a great day!

Bike Ride

Okay, I know it's a little shaky... but you try holding a camera while riding a bike down bumpy Korean roads!

I started and ended at my apartment.  It usually takes about an hour or so... but I did some serious editing!

Nice Knockers!

Goal #2

By the time I leave, I want to be able to wear Korean lingerie. They have the cutest little frilly lingerie and unfortunately, nothing comes bigger than an A cup.

I can do it!

Daily Life in Korea

Here is my routine..

5:30am- wake up. Hit snooze. Repeat.

6:45am- snooze is now broken... disassemble battery from alarm clock while still asleep.

7:15am- wake up in a panic wondering why my alarm never went off. Turn on water heater.

7:20am- jump into the shower.

7:35am- squeegy the puddles from the floor into the floor drain

7:40am- get ready for school

8:15am- shove a scoop of peanut butter down my throat (try to convince myself that it's actually a decent breakfast)

8:20am- run out the door. Curse at the elevator for taking so long. Power walk to school.

8:33am- Arrive at school. Only 3 minutes late, hell, that's practically on time!

9:00am- Start classes. Repeat the words: Hi, Hello, Hello, Hi, Hi, Hi, Bye, Hello, Hello, Hi, Hello, about a million times. Sing the damn ABC song just as many times.

12:20pm- Lunch. Push rice around my plate with chopsticks. Try to hide octopus and squid in my soup bowl so no one notices I didn't eat anything.

1:20pm- back to class. Repeat the following phrases over and over: No, I don't speak Korean...Yes, I live at Chong Ho too... No, I don't remember my phone number. (because that's what I need... 4th graders texting me all night long.)

2:20pm- After school classes. Try my damnedest to wrangle these kids who would rather be anywhere but here. Give up and play hangman until their hearts content.

3:30pm- Sit at my desk. Stare aimlessly at the clock. Write silly little blogs and check facebook 350 times.

4:30pm- Walk home. Wave to the people leaning out the hospital windows smoking cigarettes. Stop by the little market and pick up a few veggies and something to drink.

4:50pm- Wash my hands repeatedly. Damn germy little vermon! Must not get sick again!!!

5:00pm- Head out to the trails... running, biking, anything to clear my head.

6:30pm- Come home and shower. Forget that I opened the corridor window earlier and now all my neighbors can see me naked. Hmmm... rig up some contraption so I can keep the window open without people seeing in.

7:00pm- Paint, watch tv, think about what to eat for dinner.

8:00pm- Cook dinner. Usually involving chicken, onions, greenpeppers and garlic (those are the veggies my little market sells!)

10:30pm- Get on Skype and talk to my mom and sis... and anyone else that drops by my mom's house!

11:00pm- Watch episode after episode of CSI.... catch Man vs. Wild if I'm super lucky!

2:00am- Curse at myself for being a tv junkie and force myself to go to bed!

Repeat 5x a week...

except on Wednesdays. That involves me taking a bus 30 min outside town and repeating the phrase "No punching, fighting, kicking, hitting...."

Koreanized: If You Can't Beat 'Em, Join 'Em!

Today I was proud of myself.

At lunch, I managed to bone and skin a piece of fish, using chopsticks - with one hand! Even Koreans sometimes use two hands when trying to eat fish (one chopstick in each hand pulling the meat from the bones.) Even more impressive was the perfect little fish skeleton that was left on my tray.

I wish I had brought my camera to lunch.

Last week I had dinner with some Korean teachers from another school and the Head of the Yeongcheon Education Office.

The head guy, Mr. Hwang, looks across the tiny little table we are sitting at and says, "Buck-lew, you have become Koreanized." Mr. Hwang is the only person in Korea who knows my last name, let alone calls me by it.

The reason I have become "Koreanized" to 

Mr. Hwang is because while loading up my lettuce wrap with barbecued pork, he saw me throw in a few CLOVES of garlic. Koreans eat garlic like it's a vegetable that stands alone, not like it's a spice like the way we westerners use it. I love garlic, the only thing that prevents me from eating more of it at home is that it makes you smell like garlic.

Everyone here smells like garlic... so screw it! Bring on the funk!

Teacher's Pet? or... Teacher Gets Pet?

Well, it took 4 months.

My 4th grade girls finally discovered my hair today.

I teach after school classes on Mondays and Tuesdays. Today we played "Go Fish". Two weeks ago I taught them animal names. Last week we made animal cards that they drew themselves. This week I taught them how to play "Go Fish". They picked it up immediately, and to my delight, they loved it!

Unfortunately, the classroom we are usually in was locked. So I found a big round table in some random knook and we played there. As each kid finished their hand, they would go around the table and help other students. After a while I started to notice all the girls were behind me. Then I noticed 4 little pairs of hands "accidentally" pulling strands of my hair. Then it became 8 little hands feeling big chunks of my hair, and within moments it was fully on beauty parlor!

The little girls would run their palms over my hair and go, "Ooooohhhohhh" at the texture. I'm not a big fan of being rubbed or touched by strangers. (It happens to me an awful lot here)... but, people messing with my hair, well that I'm not going to stop! And they aren't exactly strangers. They are my students, and some of them I almost recognize when i pass them in the halls!

So knock yourselves out ladies, go nuts! And while your at it, whose going to rub teacher's feet?

Korean Compliments

Though always indirect, I always find Kim Dong Uk's compliments to be genuine and sincere.

KDU: Britne, do you have a date tonight?
BB: What? Um, no. Why?
KDU: Because of the way you look.
BB: Are you saying I look nice today?
KDU: Yes. (then covers his blushing face and walks away)

Another good example of a Kim Dong Uk compliment:

KDU: (Staring at me from across the desk) Your eyes got bigger.
BB: What?
KDU: Your eyes, they are bigger than before.
BB: Are you trying to say that I've lost weight?
KDU: Yes.

I really like this, slightly lost in translation, method of giving someone a compliment. It's not overdone, it's not embellished, it is what it is. They could be misconstrued as backhanded compliments.... but I don't see them that way. I like the brutal honestly of it because at least I know they aren't bullshit.