I dread when people offer me food. They think they are being so nice, and actually they are, sharing their food with me.
Unfortunately... most of their food repulses me. I don't want it. I don't even want to look at it. I really don't want to be where I can even smell it and I certainly don't want my taste buds anywhere near it!
Then everyone I walk by at work has to be so generous and insist I have a piece of octopus, or neon green sticky rice ball, or god knows what else.
***Case in point, just as I'm sitting here typing this, my coworker walks up and hands me a little glass bottle. He hands it to me and says, "This is a Korean drink. It tastes a little terrible but it's good for health." He was right (at least on one point) It was terrible. Tastes a little like drinking Worcestershire sauce. ***
The "good for health" thing is starting to annoy me. It's sort of a Korean cop out. Any Korean custom that is unpleasant is immediately explained as being "good for health". I'm calling BS on most of them. I'm sure some have to be good for you. But, for example, sleeping on the floor is said to be good for women's health. How?
Koreans traditionally sleep on the floor but it's not uncommon for them to have beds. However, they make the mattresses reminiscent of sleeping on the floor.... so hard as a rock. This is not good for my health. Soft bed, hard bed... I don't see how any one is more or less good for you if it's not your preference. Personally sleeping on, what feels like, an ironing board makes it difficult for me to sleep. I wake up constantly. So essentially, for a month now, I haven't slept. That is NOT good for my health!! I'm exhausted! My coworkers tell me I look tired all the time. It's because, damnit, I AM!!!
Oh, but that's neither here nor there. This is supposed to be a food based bitch session.
Korean food can have it's pleasant moments. I've been to some good traditional restaurants. But most of the food I'm eating is public school cafeteria food. The first few weeks I had no problem and actually looked forward to lunch. I liked trying everything. But then just as I hit the one month mark something dawned on me... I'm not trying stuff anymore, now I just have to eat this stuff for my meals... everyday.
I'm not a big seafood fan. For two reasons... taste and texture. So choking down octopus tentacles (suction cups and all) and fire hot squid everyday sorta takes the joy out of lunch.
Not to mention I'm trying to maneuver these tasty treats into my mouth with stainless steel chopsticks all while wearing a white collared shirt! Tricky!Though, I have been complimented many times on my master chopstick abilities! (Thanks Mrs. Spence!) Some of my coworkers get teased that I work the chopsticks better than they do. Though I think the lack of chopstick skills is a western stereotype here in Korea... they are shocked that any foreigner can use them. I don't see why it's so shocking. There is at least one Chinese food place in every strip mall in America, how is there anyone left that doesn't know how to use them?
But I just don't get Korean food in this century. I get why it is this way from a historical standpoint. Until about 50 years ago (post Korean war) Korea was in the 3rd world. You ate what you had. So okay, I get why you started to ferment cabbage in vinegar and slathering it in hot pepper paste... because you had to. I get why you ate so many anchovies and pickled eggs and octopus and what have you. But now Korea has a huge global economy. They are far technologically superior to the US. Koreans are into gadgets and high fashion. Money is abundant. So why the hell can't you update the menu? Just a little.
Though my bitching is in vain. There are plenty of pizza and fried chicken joints in SoKo. They are everywhere. So I guess I can suck it up and choke down a traditional lunch and grease it up for dinner.... though that brings me to another thought. If you want to make a fortune, start pushing diet pills/ exercise gimmicks in SoKo. South Koreans are obsessed with their weight. Korean women are starting to suffer the same rates of eating disorders as the US. But after my first week of school I wondered why, in a country where I have yet to see a fat adult, are there so many chubby little kids?
It's because I am witnessing the first generation of Korean kids brought up on junk food. They love pizza and corn dogs and spaghetti and potato chips. So for you entrepreneurs out there.... give it 10-15 years when these chubby kids are chubby adults and sell them ab lounges. You will make a fortune!
I myself need to start looking into an ab lounge or something. I keep wanting to go run but it's either too damn frigid outside or there is such a thick layer of shit in the air that I feel it will do me more damage than good to run in it. I was losing a little bit of weight until the "Great chicken debacle" of March '09.
Ah, what is that you say? That was the first day I caved in and went to get greasy food. I went to one of the many fried chicken places. I walked in and pointed to the chicken and held up two fingers. The man behind the counter nodded. The pieces looked pretty small so I shook my head "no" and then held up 3 fingers. Again, he nodded. I pointed to the calculator on the counter and he typed in a price. 2500W (or about $2.50) I thought that was inexpensive but about right. Food is cheap here. A few minutes later he gestures to me that it's ready. He hands me 3 BOXES of chicken. Each with 6 or 7 pieces in it. Crap!!! Then I realize he left out a zero on the calculator. He meant 25000W ($25) Crap Crap Crap!!! Now I not only am going to bust out of my pants, but I busted my budget too! Oh well. That was weeks ago... I still have chicken in the freezer that I'm trying to get through.
That's one lesson learned. Chicken is sold by the box, not by the piece. Got it!
(The image above is from my first dinner with coworkers. Young-jin prefers to draw pictures when she can't think of a translation (which I appreciate) I believe this image is the international symbol for squid!)
