Fashion Sense-less

I have received several comments from coworkers on how "cute" I look today. This makes me giggle. Mostly because to me, I look ridiculous!

I am no fashionista, most will attest to that, particularly my sister who has, on several occasions, literally pulled me back into the house while saying, "I'm not letting you leave the house looking like that!!"

On a good day, I'm a plain Jane, jeans and a t-shirt and I'm good to go.

During my vacation in America this past summer, I bought lots of clothes including several "Korean looking" dresses. Ah, what does "Korean looking" mean? In a nutshell it means ridiculous.

Here is a little input into the Korean world of fashion:

Men: pretty much in sync with what is going on in the US (sans anything in the hiphop or rap realm).

Women:
-It's a little bit 1st grade (Hello Kitty or Mickey Mouse is completely acceptable to have on your socks, purse, jeans,... anything)
-It's a little bit early 1990's (lots of busy floral patterns, floppy neck bows, lots of ruffles and frills, and all things bedazzled)
-It's a little bit "Little House On The Prairie"... Cleavage is a no-no (probably because there isn't any here!) so necklines rarely go past the collarbone and usually don't even go past the throat. They also keep their arms covered almost all the time. So from neck to wrist they are covered in trance inducing ruffly floral patterns... just add a bonnet and Young-jin could totally be Laura Ingles! Come to think of it, she derived her English name "Anne" from the book "Anne of Green Gables" which is pretty damn accurate. Well, if Young-jin is Laura Ingles then Min-jung is definitely Nelly Olsen!

and lastly...

-It's a little bit "potato sack meets street walker". Most of the clothes are shapeless sacks. Over sized, unflattering, and overpriced! (Not to mention mistranslated!) Though, I am a little bit envious of not being able to partake in this aspect of their fashion. Most single Korean women in their 20's are so damn thin that they can get away with wearing a burlap sack and still look smoking hot... and they do. Well, a floral ruffly burlap sack anyway.

And what these women lack in cleavage, they make up for in legs. And they work it!! Hard! In the US, the length of their skirts coupled with the height of their heels translates directly to hooker! Skirts so short I'm pretty sure they have to coordinate their bikini waxing with their outfits! And again, I'm envious. Not only because I don't have the legs to pull it off, but because I have a skirt handicap... it's called an ass!

Western women can't wear skirts that short. The extra volume from our butt causes our skirts to rise a few inches in the back. The more ass you have, the more it rides up in the back. So our skirts have to be long enough in the front to keep our cheeks covered in the back. Not the case with Korean women since the vast majority have no butts. Their legs go from toes to torso with not so much as the slightest bump of a bum to get in the way.

So today I wore one of my "Korean looking" dresses to work. It's a short, somewhat shapeless sleeveless dress. It has a checkered, almost plaid pattern with a big floppy collar and big blue buttons. It's navy, red, and tan and I wore black tights and a brown long sleeve shirt under it. (matching or even coordinating isn't something anyone here bothers to do so why should I?).

I was too damn lazy to wash my hair this morning so I took a few barrettes and clipped it all to the top of my head in a very "Sunday morning walk of shame" type of manner. Though my coworkers like when I wear my hair up because it shows off the "shape" of my head. Apparently to Koreans, I have a very desirable head shape.

So yeah, lots of compliments on how I look today. They say, "cute"... I say, "10 year old clown the morning after a 3 day meth bender".

But whatever, cultural difference I guess!