But when the category changes to food and the letters "D" and "O" come up again, they all start screaming, "DOG" and "OCTOPUS!!!"
Bleh!
Showing posts with label food. Show all posts
Showing posts with label food. Show all posts
Wednesday, September 09, 2009
Only In Korea...
do students, when playing an alphabet game dealing with animal names, come up with "dinosaur" and "ox" when we get to the letters "D" and "O"...
Wednesday, August 19, 2009
"Happiness Is A Warm Puppy"
On Sunday evening I was on the subway in Seoul and a man was peddling cell phones accessories. I noticed the bag he was carrying and, in English, it said, "Happiness is a warm puppy."
This immediately got me thinking.
Let's do a little math, shall we?
If: Happiness is a warm puppy
Then: A = B
And according to Mallory's co-worker, Mr. Yoon, "Eating time is happy time" where Eating time is C
then....
we apply the Transitive Property of Equality ( if A=B and B=C then A=C)
This immediately got me thinking.
Let's do a little math, shall we?
If: Happiness is a warm puppy
Then: A = B
And according to Mallory's co-worker, Mr. Yoon, "Eating time is happy time" where Eating time is C
If: we assume Happy Time is equivalent to Happiness
Then: Eating time is Happiness
So: C = A
So: C = A
then....
we apply the Transitive Property of Equality ( if A=B and B=C then A=C)
and since we already established that B = C and inversely C = B
then: Eating time is a warm puppy
now...
factor in the given: Korean people eat dog meat
then: C = B (Eating time is a warm puppy) could very well be a true statement!!!
now...
factor in the variable that many Koreans believe dog meat increases male virility and stamina
then: Eating time is bow chicka wow wow ????
In conlusion: I shouldn't think so hard after a 20+ hour flight!!!!!!
Monday, August 17, 2009
Home Sweet Home
A brief synopsis of my vacation in the States:
- Birthday burgers with the Bucklew clan, all 15 of us
- making Vietnamese food with my best bud and sis
- shopping shopping shopping, since I only brought one pair of pants and one shirt home
- Ben's 30th birthday
- running around Raleigh trying to see all my friends and not getting enough time with any of them
- Getting to meet and rub on my favorite baby bump in the world!
- Teaching old church ladies about getting lei'd
- 20 hour kamikaze drive to WV with my sis for only a few hours of visiting
- Showing Jen and Bec the kind of 'shit' Korean kids learn
- Buying G'ma slutty hot pants
- Stealing a kiss from an old friend
- Meeting the newest and bluest (eyed) member of the Franzese clan
- Meeting the mini-Mercer man
- Wally world to buy all the swag for my Korean peeps
- and Food. Glorious, vast, copious amounts of fattening, delicious, tear inducing, gut gorging fooooooood!!!!
Tuesday, July 07, 2009
Kill 'Em With Kindness... Or Candy, Which Ever Is Easier!
Today is my birthday!
I'm not a big birthday person. Never really have been. Generally my birthday comes and goes and I don't alert many people to the occasion.
Today in my 4th grade class a girl was brave enough to approach me before we started.
"Hello, how are you today Bituhne" she said.
"I'm very good, thanks. And you...?"
"I'm happy." she replied.
"Do you know what today is?" I said.
She looked at me with a blank stare and mouth wide open. I knew what she was thinking... "oh crap... we haven't rehearsed this. She's talking to me and I don't know what she's saying..."
"Do you know what today, Seven/ Seven, is?" I said again.
Still just staring at me, she looks even more confused now.
"It's my birthday." I said.
"Bituhne burrsday?!?" she squealed! Partly delighted that she understood me and partly because I would share that information with her. "OOOh, happy burrsday!"
She ran over and whispered to some of her friends. They all perked up and started pointing and whispering.
"Do you like cake?" The little girl said.
"Yes, I like cake"
"Do you like... uuuummm... gifts?" she said.
"Yes, I like cake and gifts."
Then it was time for class to start. Those little girls smiled at me all class like I had shared a special secret with them. It was very cute!
After class, those little girls came into my office, giggling nervously, during the break.
"Bittuuhne.... Happy Burrsday!" and they pulled out a little cake (a gift!) that was made out of clay. It's decorated with clay carrots and kiwi (I think). It actually made my day (thus far anyway!)
Then at lunch (which this week I officially stopped eating in the cafeteria!!) there was a package on my desk! From my grandma, aunts, cousins, parents... Filled with all kinds of fattening treats and goodies! So much for eating right!
There was no way I could eat all those goodies on my own and still fit into my pants, so I decided to take them to my after school class.
I loathe my after school class! I teach it on my own and the students run a muck. They own me. It's out of control, they run out of the class, crawl around on the floor. I refuse to beat them or even yell at them and they know this so there is a total disregard for everything I try to do. I dread going to that class... and to make it better, it used to be once a week, now it's twice! Yippie!
They really don't deserve the candy, but I needed to share it with someone. I always offer stuff to my co-teachers and they take it but sometimes they eat it and sometimes they don't. Which makes me giggle because now you know how I feel having gooey rice and bean cakes shoved in my face all the time.
Some of those little girls in my 4th grade class are in my after school class so when I walked in today the whole class of 9 year old monsters broke into the English rendition of "Happy Birthday To You!" Apparently it's one of the only songs they know in English! I was actually touched. One little girl scribbled something in Korean on the board. I had no idea what it said, but judging from the topic of conversation, I pointed to it and said, "Happy Birthday".
All the kids mouths dropped open and they all started squealing.
They really don't deserve the candy, but I needed to share it with someone. I always offer stuff to my co-teachers and they take it but sometimes they eat it and sometimes they don't. Which makes me giggle because now you know how I feel having gooey rice and bean cakes shoved in my face all the time.
Some of those little girls in my 4th grade class are in my after school class so when I walked in today the whole class of 9 year old monsters broke into the English rendition of "Happy Birthday To You!" Apparently it's one of the only songs they know in English! I was actually touched. One little girl scribbled something in Korean on the board. I had no idea what it said, but judging from the topic of conversation, I pointed to it and said, "Happy Birthday".
All the kids mouths dropped open and they all started squealing.
I guessed right! From my limited Korean vocabulary I could understand them saying "oooh, she reads Korean!" They are always amazed and delighted when I say things in Korean.
The kids were up to their normal antics: fighting, cell phone video games, hiding under desks, umbrella jousting, etc. Then I pulled out the chocolate cadbury eggs and the box of Mike and Ike's.
"Do you want candy?" I said pointing to the boxes.
"Yyyyyyeessssss! Give me candy!!!!" they started screaming.
I wrote the time class was over on the board and explained, in more hand gestures than words, that if you listen to me, you get candy when class is over. If not.... NO CANDY! They shut right up! This class exhausts me and it's the last week of after school classes this semester, so I've given up and resorted to only playing hangman. I've started writing phrases on a piece of paper and let them run the game (so at least I feel like one or two students will be doing something constuctive.)
They were as good as gold today! No one spoke out of turn, no one ran away, there was no blood on the floor... nothing! I'm not one for bribes, but next semester.... I'm bribing these monsters with candy every week!!!
The kids were up to their normal antics: fighting, cell phone video games, hiding under desks, umbrella jousting, etc. Then I pulled out the chocolate cadbury eggs and the box of Mike and Ike's.
"Do you want candy?" I said pointing to the boxes.
"Yyyyyyeessssss! Give me candy!!!!" they started screaming.
I wrote the time class was over on the board and explained, in more hand gestures than words, that if you listen to me, you get candy when class is over. If not.... NO CANDY! They shut right up! This class exhausts me and it's the last week of after school classes this semester, so I've given up and resorted to only playing hangman. I've started writing phrases on a piece of paper and let them run the game (so at least I feel like one or two students will be doing something constuctive.)
They were as good as gold today! No one spoke out of turn, no one ran away, there was no blood on the floor... nothing! I'm not one for bribes, but next semester.... I'm bribing these monsters with candy every week!!!
And the day just kept getting better! I went to dinner with Marica (a fellow North Carolinian, Charlotte actually) and we stuffed ourselves full of bulgogi and galbi (sliced beef and marinated pork)
After dinner we were just sitting there, on the floor, talking and a man came up to us and picked our bill up off the table. "This .... I will pay" he said. Marica and I were confused. "Why?" we asked. "Because I'm Korean" he said.
Fair enough!
I don't think he realized we had ordered at least 4 servings of meat! Oh well! Then when I made it home, the little old man security guard stopped me at the elevator. He came running out of his little security closet and muttered something at me and handed me a box.
Inside the box was a cake and a note that said, "Happy Birthday Britne! Always Thank You, Min-Jung, Dong-Uk, Young-Jin" awwww. My co-teachers came by with a cake when I wasn't here!
I threw myself a little birthday party and had some cake!
It was a great day!
Monday, June 22, 2009
Koreanized: If You Can't Beat 'Em, Join 'Em!
Today I was proud of myself.
At lunch, I managed to bone and skin a piece of fish, using chopsticks - with one hand! Even Koreans sometimes use two hands when trying to eat fish (one chopstick in each hand pulling the meat from the bones.) Even more impressive was the perfect little fish skeleton that was left on my tray.
I wish I had brought my camera to lunch.
Last week I had dinner with some Korean teachers from another school and the Head of the Yeongcheon Education Office.
The head guy, Mr. Hwang, looks across the tiny little table we are sitting at and says, "Buck-lew, you have become Koreanized." Mr. Hwang is the only person in Korea who knows my last name, let alone calls me by it.
The reason I have become "Koreanized" to
Everyone here smells like garlic... so screw it! Bring on the funk!
At lunch, I managed to bone and skin a piece of fish, using chopsticks - with one hand! Even Koreans sometimes use two hands when trying to eat fish (one chopstick in each hand pulling the meat from the bones.) Even more impressive was the perfect little fish skeleton that was left on my tray.
I wish I had brought my camera to lunch.
Last week I had dinner with some Korean teachers from another school and the Head of the Yeongcheon Education Office.
The head guy, Mr. Hwang, looks across the tiny little table we are sitting at and says, "Buck-lew, you have become Koreanized." Mr. Hwang is the only person in Korea who knows my last name, let alone calls me by it.The reason I have become "Koreanized" to
Mr. Hwang is because while loading up my lettuce wrap with barbecued pork, he saw me throw in a few CLOVES of garlic. Koreans eat garlic like it's a vegetable that stands alone, not like it's a spice like the way we westerners use it. I love garlic, the only thing that prevents me from eating more of it at home is that it makes you smell like garlic.
Everyone here smells like garlic... so screw it! Bring on the funk!
Thursday, June 11, 2009
Transgendered Fruit
I want tomatoes to go back into the veggie category!
I know, I know... they are technically a fruit. Yes, they were born a fruit but they identify with vegetables so much better. They are tart, not sugary sweet, and they should never be on top of your ice cream or other desserts, so therefore they are a veggie!
Koreans love tomatoes. They are included in every social gathering. They'll present you with plates of watermelon, apples, pineapple, oranges and cherry tomatoes. Don't get me wrong, I love tomatoes, I put them on everything (sans dessert) but I'm tired of being force fed plateful after plateful of cherry tomatoes!
I know, I know... they are technically a fruit. Yes, they were born a fruit but they identify with vegetables so much better. They are tart, not sugary sweet, and they should never be on top of your ice cream or other desserts, so therefore they are a veggie!
Koreans love tomatoes. They are included in every social gathering. They'll present you with plates of watermelon, apples, pineapple, oranges and cherry tomatoes. Don't get me wrong, I love tomatoes, I put them on everything (sans dessert) but I'm tired of being force fed plateful after plateful of cherry tomatoes!
Wednesday, March 25, 2009
Bleh, Bleh, double Bleh!
The following is a venting session...
I dread when people offer me food. They think they are being so nice, and actually they are, sharing their food with me.
Unfortunately... most of their food repulses me. I don't want it. I don't even want to look at it. I really don't want to be where I can even smell it and I certainly don't want my taste buds anywhere near it!
Then everyone I walk by at work has to be so generous and insist I have a piece of octopus, or neon green sticky rice ball, or god knows what else.
***Case in point, just as I'm sitting here typing this, my coworker walks up and hands me a little glass bottle. He hands it to me and says, "This is a Korean drink. It tastes a little terrible but it's good for health." He was right (at least on one point) It was terrible. Tastes a little like drinking Worcestershire sauce. ***
The "good for health" thing is starting to annoy me. It's sort of a Korean cop out. Any Korean custom that is unpleasant is immediately explained as being "good for health". I'm calling BS on most of them. I'm sure some have to be good for you. But, for example, sleeping on the floor is said to be good for women's health. How?
Koreans traditionally sleep on the floor but it's not uncommon for them to have beds. However, they make the mattresses reminiscent of sleeping on the floor.... so hard as a rock. This is not good for my health. Soft bed, hard bed... I don't see how any one is more or less good for you if it's not your preference. Personally sleeping on, what feels like, an ironing board makes it difficult for me to sleep. I wake up constantly. So essentially, for a month now, I haven't slept. That is NOT good for my health!! I'm exhausted! My coworkers tell me I look tired all the time. It's because, damnit, I AM!!!
Oh, but that's neither here nor there. This is supposed to be a food based bitch session.
Korean food can have it's pleasant moments. I've been to some good traditional restaurants. But most of the food I'm eating is public school cafeteria food. The first few weeks I had no problem and actually looked forward to lunch. I liked trying everything. But then just as I hit the one month mark something dawned on me... I'm not trying stuff anymore, now I just have to eat this stuff for my meals... everyday.
I'm not a big seafood fan. For two reasons... taste and texture. So choking down octopus tentacles (suction cups and all) and fire hot squid everyday sorta takes the joy out of lunch.
Not to mention I'm trying to maneuver these tasty treats into my mouth with stainless steel chopsticks all while wearing a white collared shirt! Tricky!
Though, I have been complimented many times on my master chopstick abilities! (Thanks Mrs. Spence!) Some of my coworkers get teased that I work the chopsticks better than they do. Though I think the lack of chopstick skills is a western stereotype here in Korea... they are shocked that any foreigner can use them. I don't see why it's so shocking. There is at least one Chinese food place in every strip mall in America, how is there anyone left that doesn't know how to use them?
But I just don't get Korean food in this century. I get why it is this way from a historical standpoint. Until about 50 years ago (post Korean war) Korea was in the 3rd world. You ate what you had. So okay, I get why you started to ferment cabbage in vinegar and slathering it in hot pepper paste... because you had to. I get why you ate so many anchovies and pickled eggs and octopus and what have you. But now Korea has a huge global economy. They are far technologically superior to the US. Koreans are into gadgets and high fashion. Money is abundant. So why the hell can't you update the menu? Just a little.
Though my bitching is in vain. There are plenty of pizza and fried chicken joints in SoKo. They are everywhere. So I guess I can suck it up and choke down a traditional lunch and grease it up for dinner.... though that brings me to another thought. If you want to make a fortune, start pushing diet pills/ exercise gimmicks in SoKo. South Koreans are obsessed with their weight. Korean women are starting to suffer the same rates of eating disorders as the US. But after my first week of school I wondered why, in a country where I have yet to see a fat adult, are there so many chubby little kids?
It's because I am witnessing the first generation of Korean kids brought up on junk food. They love pizza and corn dogs and spaghetti and potato chips. So for you entrepreneurs out there.... give it 10-15 years when these chubby kids are chubby adults and sell them ab lounges. You will make a fortune!
I myself need to start looking into an ab lounge or something. I keep wanting to go run but it's either too damn frigid outside or there is such a thick layer of shit in the air that I feel it will do me more damage than good to run in it. I was losing a little bit of weight until the "Great chicken debacle" of March '09.
Ah, what is that you say? That was the first day I caved in and went to get greasy food. I went to one of the many fried chicken places. I walked in and pointed to the chicken and held up two fingers. The man behind the counter nodded. The pieces looked pretty small so I shook my head "no" and then held up 3 fingers. Again, he nodded. I pointed to the calculator on the counter and he typed in a price. 2500W (or about $2.50) I thought that was inexpensive but about right. Food is cheap here. A few minutes later he gestures to me that it's ready. He hands me 3 BOXES of chicken. Each with 6 or 7 pieces in it. Crap!!! Then I realize he left out a zero on the calculator. He meant 25000W ($25) Crap Crap Crap!!! Now I not only am going to bust out of my pants, but I busted my budget too! Oh well. That was weeks ago... I still have chicken in the freezer that I'm trying to get through.
That's one lesson learned. Chicken is sold by the box, not by the piece. Got it!
(The image above is from my first dinner with coworkers. Young-jin prefers to draw pictures when she can't think of a translation (which I appreciate) I believe this image is the international symbol for squid!)
I dread when people offer me food. They think they are being so nice, and actually they are, sharing their food with me.
Unfortunately... most of their food repulses me. I don't want it. I don't even want to look at it. I really don't want to be where I can even smell it and I certainly don't want my taste buds anywhere near it!
Then everyone I walk by at work has to be so generous and insist I have a piece of octopus, or neon green sticky rice ball, or god knows what else.
***Case in point, just as I'm sitting here typing this, my coworker walks up and hands me a little glass bottle. He hands it to me and says, "This is a Korean drink. It tastes a little terrible but it's good for health." He was right (at least on one point) It was terrible. Tastes a little like drinking Worcestershire sauce. ***
The "good for health" thing is starting to annoy me. It's sort of a Korean cop out. Any Korean custom that is unpleasant is immediately explained as being "good for health". I'm calling BS on most of them. I'm sure some have to be good for you. But, for example, sleeping on the floor is said to be good for women's health. How?
Koreans traditionally sleep on the floor but it's not uncommon for them to have beds. However, they make the mattresses reminiscent of sleeping on the floor.... so hard as a rock. This is not good for my health. Soft bed, hard bed... I don't see how any one is more or less good for you if it's not your preference. Personally sleeping on, what feels like, an ironing board makes it difficult for me to sleep. I wake up constantly. So essentially, for a month now, I haven't slept. That is NOT good for my health!! I'm exhausted! My coworkers tell me I look tired all the time. It's because, damnit, I AM!!!
Oh, but that's neither here nor there. This is supposed to be a food based bitch session.
Korean food can have it's pleasant moments. I've been to some good traditional restaurants. But most of the food I'm eating is public school cafeteria food. The first few weeks I had no problem and actually looked forward to lunch. I liked trying everything. But then just as I hit the one month mark something dawned on me... I'm not trying stuff anymore, now I just have to eat this stuff for my meals... everyday.
I'm not a big seafood fan. For two reasons... taste and texture. So choking down octopus tentacles (suction cups and all) and fire hot squid everyday sorta takes the joy out of lunch.
Not to mention I'm trying to maneuver these tasty treats into my mouth with stainless steel chopsticks all while wearing a white collared shirt! Tricky!Though, I have been complimented many times on my master chopstick abilities! (Thanks Mrs. Spence!) Some of my coworkers get teased that I work the chopsticks better than they do. Though I think the lack of chopstick skills is a western stereotype here in Korea... they are shocked that any foreigner can use them. I don't see why it's so shocking. There is at least one Chinese food place in every strip mall in America, how is there anyone left that doesn't know how to use them?
But I just don't get Korean food in this century. I get why it is this way from a historical standpoint. Until about 50 years ago (post Korean war) Korea was in the 3rd world. You ate what you had. So okay, I get why you started to ferment cabbage in vinegar and slathering it in hot pepper paste... because you had to. I get why you ate so many anchovies and pickled eggs and octopus and what have you. But now Korea has a huge global economy. They are far technologically superior to the US. Koreans are into gadgets and high fashion. Money is abundant. So why the hell can't you update the menu? Just a little.
Though my bitching is in vain. There are plenty of pizza and fried chicken joints in SoKo. They are everywhere. So I guess I can suck it up and choke down a traditional lunch and grease it up for dinner.... though that brings me to another thought. If you want to make a fortune, start pushing diet pills/ exercise gimmicks in SoKo. South Koreans are obsessed with their weight. Korean women are starting to suffer the same rates of eating disorders as the US. But after my first week of school I wondered why, in a country where I have yet to see a fat adult, are there so many chubby little kids?
It's because I am witnessing the first generation of Korean kids brought up on junk food. They love pizza and corn dogs and spaghetti and potato chips. So for you entrepreneurs out there.... give it 10-15 years when these chubby kids are chubby adults and sell them ab lounges. You will make a fortune!
I myself need to start looking into an ab lounge or something. I keep wanting to go run but it's either too damn frigid outside or there is such a thick layer of shit in the air that I feel it will do me more damage than good to run in it. I was losing a little bit of weight until the "Great chicken debacle" of March '09.
Ah, what is that you say? That was the first day I caved in and went to get greasy food. I went to one of the many fried chicken places. I walked in and pointed to the chicken and held up two fingers. The man behind the counter nodded. The pieces looked pretty small so I shook my head "no" and then held up 3 fingers. Again, he nodded. I pointed to the calculator on the counter and he typed in a price. 2500W (or about $2.50) I thought that was inexpensive but about right. Food is cheap here. A few minutes later he gestures to me that it's ready. He hands me 3 BOXES of chicken. Each with 6 or 7 pieces in it. Crap!!! Then I realize he left out a zero on the calculator. He meant 25000W ($25) Crap Crap Crap!!! Now I not only am going to bust out of my pants, but I busted my budget too! Oh well. That was weeks ago... I still have chicken in the freezer that I'm trying to get through.
That's one lesson learned. Chicken is sold by the box, not by the piece. Got it!
(The image above is from my first dinner with coworkers. Young-jin prefers to draw pictures when she can't think of a translation (which I appreciate) I believe this image is the international symbol for squid!)
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